Apples of Gold in pictures of Silver

Wrote the following words down as I was journalling earlier today:

Hope arises in the depths of a searching heart.
And we know that all things work together for good, for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes.

About 30mins later- a dear friend (Dimple) messaged and gave me this exact verse as well as another verse which was all related to what I’m going through. It was definitely timely!

The timing and the words she gave was so relevant that it has to be as a result of God’s prompting her and Him reminding her of me. It was all too accurate for anything to be a mere “coincidence”.

When we communicate with our friends, how often do we actuallyencourage them? How often do we pray for our friends and family? Are our prayers mainly about me,myself and my needs?

It is good to encourage our brothers and sisters in Christ when prompted. There is no need to keep sending all our friends verses, scriptures, quotes that it becomes almost like “spamming”.. 🙂

But if prompted and if we sense a burden to speak with a particular person- ask The Lord which verses or words of encouragement to say.

You never know.

It might just be what they needed to hear that time.

Here’s a proverb from the Bible:

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. (Proverbs 25:11)

Please keep the people in your life – those in the “inner circle” in your prayers daily. God uses each of us and in our friendships to reveal a bit about Himself..!

Sending prayers your way,

Mel.

Dimple

A true friend is a gift from God. I thank God for sending Dimple into my life.

There’s a verse in the Bible that says:
“There’s a friend that sticks closer than a brother”

Dimple is practically family – she’s my sister. We share what is in our hearts, what God has been speaking to us… we give each other stuff… Feed each other’s families.. but more than that…

She’s one of the few individuals in my ‘world’ that I can fully trust. In fact, both our husbands tells us “you need to spend time with Dimple / Mel”…!

Perhaps that’s the beauty of friendship isn’t? To be fully authentic and real with each other that we can trust each other!

I guess what I love most about Dimple is her generous and humble heart. No matter what, even when she’s really down, she ALWAYS has such a BIG HEART for others.

Despite facing so many challenges of her own, she can still have the strength, time and heart to care, encourage, speak words of life, pray with me, go crazy, cheer me on and simply, be there. Sometimes she cares too much for others and forgets to take care of herself!!

She also just gets it.

Of course there are times when we’re annoyed at each other.. or when we don’t see things the same way. Considering often it’s hard for me to verbally “disagree” with someone- I feel safe enough to disagree with her!

Thank You Lord for sending Dimple into my life. Please help me to be a better friend, to encourage, support and be there for her as well whenever she needs me to.

Meepo :)

On Saturday Meepo and I met face to face for the first time 🙂 We met through WordPress and had communicated briefly through emails… But talking face to face is always best. So grateful that we met through blogging, such an awesome privilege!

She also visited my church today.. And just sent an email saying that she liked it! Yay!

Here are photos of us:

This morning at Life Church:

It is truly a gift to meet and get to know you better Elain.. You are such a beautiful and gentle soul! Have a wonderful time at Bondi tomorrow and see you again soon!! 🙂

When someone has wounded you… (From a Christian perspective)

People can just hurt each other. And it hurts.

For those who have been hurt, or betrayed, or treated unjustly… I’m sorry you had to go through this.

Can I share a bit of my perspective on this?

When hurts occurs, I notice that the person being hurt will either:

1) Look outwardly and blame someone else. Or..

2) Look inwardly and Doubt.

Why me? Why did God allow this to happen? Did I do something wrong?

Neither one of these reactions are effective. In fact, putting the fault on to someone else, or questioning God will never ease the problem. It just adds more confusion, pain and makes things worse for our sanity!!

So what can we do?

We can…

1) SHIFT THE PERSPECTIVE TO GOD
Have you considered How God can be in the picture? Could there be a BIGGER picture as to why these things occurred? Could it be to shape us? To rid us of our selves and humble us?

I was reading about being authentic. Authentic individuals show courage and they have been broken. Broken how?

Broken in a sense that they have nothing to hide, nothing to lose and nothing to prove anymore. Broken in that their ego, ambitions and insecurities no longer matter.

Perhaps God allowed these things to happen to break us.. It hurts. As if our dignity and “perfect” image is ripped away.. But can you see something beautiful in this?

Can you see authenticity in this?

2) GO TO THE WORD
When I’m hurt, confused and discouraged… I read Psalms. It is written by King David – who was hunted by firstly, king Saul who was jealous and insecure about his position… And his own son, Absalom.. Who was after David’s position.

Can you imagine that? Your own flesh and blood betraying and wanting you dead?!?

Yet, in all that, David never once retaliated! Even when he could have paid Saul back, or stopped his son from taking over.. David did not turn to evil ways. He did not repay wrong for wrong.

Instead… King David worshipped God! His heart knew that this life, his position as King did not belong to him.. God gives.. He can also take away…

3) THIS TOO, SHALL PASS!
Acknowledge that He IS Able to carry us through! Don’t lose hope! Keep your eyes fixed firmly on to Him. Seek His grace to help you carry your cross.. He is merciful and His Grace is made perfect when we are weak.

4) SEEK HIS WISDOM
Ask for Understanding! Oh How Unsearchable are His ways, but you can still ask for His Spirit to guide you and give you that understanding.

We may never know why things happen as they did… BUT, I believe that He does Speak. Ask for what He wants to reveal to you regarding the matter / problem.

5) KNOW WHO GOD IS!
He is
– Sovereign
– Good
– In Control
– Wise
– He will bring IT to Pass

Lastly, I just want to leave you all with this verse- just as Jesus was about to leave the world Je said to His disciples

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

In Him we can have peace, don’t let bitterness, anger and resentment rot your soul and spirit! Come to Him, if it is His will to break you and me through the “arrows” thrown by others… Lets come to Him and find Peace in His Presence.

With love,
Melinda

What makes a friendship ‘SPECIAL’?

True Friends are real treasures. You can have all the money in the world, yet if you don’t have a true friend – one whom you can trust and share everything without fear of being judged… One who just “gets” you… One who can impart words of wisdom and able to tell you not just what you want to hear, but out of love will stop you from making foolish mistakes.. That friend is a keeper for life.

I thank God for Dimple. Yep, that is her real name! Dimple and I are similar in many ways.. perhaps that is why we just get along so well.. but more than that, both of us have a desire for God sooo much that it just is always refreshing and encouraging whenever we speak on the phone or meet up. I truly Thank God for her. There have been times when I took her for granted, but truly I pray that I will never take her for granted again.

I made an acronym on the “F.A.C.T.S” of Friendship awhile ago. The essential ingredients to building deep friendships:

F- Forgiveness
This is key to building any deep friendships! We are bound to rub off on each other the wrong way unintentionally, so forgiveness and letting go is essential for growth and a deeper relationship! Seeing challenging times during our relationships as opportunity to strengthen it more!

A- Acceptance
This is knowing that no one is perfect. Everyone have character flaws. Yes, there are times when we need to help one another be better people, but there are also times when simply, must accept the other person as they are!

C- Community / Compassion
This is being empathetic. Supportive of one another, rejoicing in each others’ successes, being with one another when there are challenges.

T- Truth
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely.. If there is anything praiseworthy – meditate on these things” (Philippians 4:8)

S- Sincerity
This is being authentic with each other- nothing to prove, nothing to lose, nothing to hide!

I notice something though, that makes my friendship with Dimple extra special… our authenticity and freedom to be ourselves with each other. Yes she can say things that may hurt my feelings, that happens.. but she never intends to hurt me 🙂 it’s just her being spontaneously honest 🙂 and I need to hear it sometimes!! 😉 but true friendships will blossom and flourish when we just love one another, wish the very best for each other, put the other first (not be self-seeking).. and when we are sincere. Nothing to prove, nothing to lose.. and nothing to hide!

There is a verse in the Bible that actually says this:

“..but there is a man that sticks closer than a brother”..

Sometimes, friends can be closer than our natural family members! Our spouse, significant other, parents, sibblings are often ones we trust the most. It is rare to be able to trust ‘an outsider’.. (well, at least for me).. to truly trust someone outside of my ‘inner circle’ so to say.. but yes, I really thank God for Dimple. She’s indeed a treasure. Love you sis. 🙂

Something Unexpected on Valentine’s Day

I went out on a mother-daughter lunch date today with my beloved mum to celebrate Valentine’s Day. We had a lovely time together of sharing and just hanging out 🙂

On our way out to the carpark, a guy was playing the flute. I play the flute too and appreciated his playing so I gave a small smile. He stopped me as I walked passed him and said “Excuse me.. Just wanted to say you’re beautiful, really beautiful” ehhh.. That has NEVER happened to me before in my life where a random stranger just said that not knowing me at all. So I suppose this guy may say this to every girl that walks past haha 😀

Nevertheless, being Valentine’s Day and a female.. who would not be appreciative of that? A little surprised, I only said “thank you”. Looking back, I wished I said something about his playing or at least “God bless you”.. *sigh*

My point is: husbands, fathers, brothers, friends- your words do matter 🙂 encourage your daughters, wife, sister, girlfriend and let them know that they are beautiful (sincerely). It does wonders to a woman’s soul and heart.

By the way, “beauty” isn’t just based on a woman’s outward appearance.. The Bible actually says: “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears The Lord (who seeks after God in all her ways) is to be praised”

As for us women, the best thing we can do for humankind is to draw our beauty from being in the Presence of our Creator God. Our self-worth should not be based on how we look, our achievements.. etc etc BUT based on this realization: God loves me, He’s forgiven and made me clean, He sees me as someone with a right standing and He sees me as incredibly amazing! This is the truth!

I went through some awful times a while back. Being a very sensitive person, it would be easy for me to become bitter, angry, mean, depressed looking and just a negative person overall. However, God saved me just in time.

So I want to encourage the women reading this- know that Your Creator Loves you. Your may have experienced terrible things or you may have done things you’re not proud of.. GOD LOVES YOU AND HE HAS A PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE! Can you seek Him?

“Trust in The Lord with All your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall make your paths Straight” (Proverbs 3:5)

Wishing you a meaningful Valentine’s Day 🙂

~ Mel

The F.A.C.T.S on building Friendship

I can’t make jokes. I’ve tried to, but I am just not a humorous gal. I also can’t come up with witty come back lines… this used to REALLY bug me, especially in social situations. I’d be trying to come up with excellent things to say instead of just enjoying and being in the present! However, I have finally come to accept the fact that this is OK! There’s absolutely NO need to be “the life of the party”!

So I’ve been reflecting on what makes a strong friendship. There needs to be chemistry, you can’t force friendships between people. Some personalities just “gel” with certain personalities.. and this is okay too! Secondly, one has to be comfortable in their own skin!! Seriously, now that I’ve accepted I just can’t make jokes- phew! It’s like this “heavy cloud” of expectation to be witty is just lifted off my shoulders! Now I can just concentrate on what’s important- getting to know others more and not be so damn self conscious!!

One of my goals for 2014 is to build deep friendships. I know that first of all, I will have to strip off that “invisible wall” I subconsciously put up. I know that I am going to have to be vulnerable (be real) for this to happen.

I also know that it will take A LOT of Patience- friendships don’t just happen without some work. I will be misunderstood and will misunderstand my friends – but this does not mean that they are “rejecting” me. I have to realise that my “people pleasing” tendency is causing me much unnecessary heartache- as long as I am right before God and my conscience is at peace.. That is all that matters!

Now what happens if along the way- I get discouraged? Perhaps my kindness and expressions of love as a friend is not reciprocated… Or perhaps it just takes too much energy and I rather just stay by myself and not be in social settings.. HOW do I remind myself to keep trying?

Well, I created this acronym – F.A.C.T.S of friendship building to remind my self..

F – Forgiveness
No one is perfect. Say my friend says something that “offends” or hurts my feelings. I am not going to assume and keep replaying thoughts in my mind- I will ask for some clarification.. And forgive. Let it go.

A- Acceptance
I will remind my self that I prayed to God to send me / bring close girlfriend/s into my life. So I will accept whoever it is that HE is going to bring into my life. Even if she is not someone I thought / imagined- I won’t judge her or have unnecessary expectations.

C- Community
My friendships is for the community that I have been placed in. So, when difficult moments occur – I will remind my self that what I choose to do will not only affect the relationship between my friend and I, but our community as a whole. Hence, we have the bigger community to think about (how it will affect the rest of our friends etc).

C – is ALSO for Compassion
To know that no one is perfect. That everyone needs grace too.. To be compassionate is to look at the person or situation with a different lens (to see what is really the underlying cause instead of what seems to be at face value). This will help me to understand others more, not be judgmental, be understanding, empathetic and supportive.

T- Truth
This will remind me to speak words of Truth in our conversations. Since the Word is filled with God’s Truth- I will choose to use words that encourage my friends based on His Word.

S- Sincerity
I love this one! “Sincerity” is defined as “The quality of being free from pretense, deceit and hypocrisy”. It involves being authentic and stripping off the mask to be “perfect”. This is possible when I continue to be comfortable in my own skin.

Building friendships take daily effort too. This does not mean that we have to “bombard” the other person with lots of calls and texts.. However, what I can do is to pray for my close friends daily and spend time together intentionally. I read this quote which really struck a chord within my heart..

“We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make, which, over time, add up to big differences which we often cannot foresee” ~ Marian Wright Edelman

Normally, I tend to prefer spending time on my own. However, how can I build friendship if I don’t spend time with others?

My childhood friend who I had not seen for 10 years is in Sydney at the moment! I caught up with her over breakfast yesterday morning and we had such a beautiful time together. I have not seen her as we both moved cities and now she is living overseas at the moment. The amazing thing is that although we had not seen each other for far too long, it was really as if we hadn’t moved at all! We shared so much and encouraged each other… I was also more conscious about being real and authentic.. And yeah, it felt really good to be real with her and we had such a blessed time together.

Here’s a photo of us taken after our breakfast:

Invest in people rather than things. Friendship has no time limits.